The Couch Critic
The Couch Critic is your laid-back guide to movies and TV shows that deserve your attention—or maybe don’t. Nathan dives deep into storytelling, character development, and cinematic style with a sharp eye and a wry sense of humor. Whether it’s a blockbuster hit, a hidden gem, or a cult classic, Nathan’s relatable approach ensures every episode feels like a cozy chat with a friend who just happens to love film. Perfect for casual watchers and cinephiles alike, The Couch Critic brings thoughtful critique without the fluff. Grab your favorite snack, settle in, and let Nathan guide you through the world of screen entertainment.
The Couch Critic
The Santa Claus Nobody Asked For
Missing the magic but packed with '80s nostalgia, the 1985 film "Santa Claus" takes center stage in this solo episode of The Couch Critic. Your host Nathan dives into this peculiar Christmas movie that Katy wisely opted to skip, and for good reason!
What begins as an apparent retelling of the St. Nicholas legend quickly spirals into one of the strangest Christmas films you've probably never seen. With David Huddleston as the titular character, the film boasts an impressive supporting cast including Dudley Moore as Patch the elf and John Lithgow as the villainous toy manufacturer BZ. Despite this star power, the movie fails to deliver holiday cheer, instead offering viewers a disjointed narrative filled with questionable plot choices.
Nathan breaks down the film's bizarre elements—from the implied death of Nicholas and his wife in a blizzard to their mysterious resurrection at the North Pole, exploding candy canes, and an ending where Santa essentially kidnaps two children without legal process. The review highlights how Lithgow and Moore's interactions provide the only saving grace in an otherwise tedious viewing experience. With a Christmas rating of 4/5 (purely for being about Santa) but a dismal overall score of 2/5, this movie proves that not all holiday classics stand the test of time.
Tune in next Tuesday when Katy returns to join Nathan for a review of Albert Finney's "Scrooge," and don't miss Saturday's episode covering "Final Destination: Bloodlines." The Couch Critic is your destination for honest movie reviews where every film gets its close-up!
On the couch. We're laughing, crying, feeling it all, Breaking down the big screen, the hits and the flaws. Grab your seat, press play, let's take the pic. Lights, camera action, it's the Couch Critic.
Speaker 2:Hello everyone, welcome to another episode of the Couch Critic. I am your host, nathan, and on today's episode it is just me. Katie didn't want anything to do with the movie I'm talking about today, so here I am, by myself reviewing Santa Claus. The movie or on IMDb it's just called Santa Claus. And before I give my likes and dislikes of this 1985 classic, I have to go over the synopsis. The legend of Santa Claus is placed into jeopardy when unscrupulous toy manufacturer attempts to go over the synopsis. The legend of Santa Claus is placed into jeopardy when unscrupulous toy manufacturer attempts to take over Christmas.
Speaker 2:Santa Claus stars Dudley Moore as Patch, john Lithgow as BZ, david Huddleston as Santa Claus and Burgess Meredith as Ancient Elf. Yeah, this movie is totally a 1985 film. It's one of those movies that is all talk and no anything else. This movie is crazy boring for a movie that's supposed to be about Santa Claus. Now I will say something that kind of brought some interest into the movie is when John Lithgow showed up. I had no idea he was in this movie. I had never seen this movie so I didn't know Dudley Moore was in it. I didn't know John Lithgow was in it, and so when they introduced John Lithgow as kind of like the villain of the movie. That's when the movie started getting interesting.
Speaker 2:This movie took a long time to actually get started. So it starts out with Santa Claus, known as Nicholas in the beginning of the movie, and his wife going to bring toys to all the girls and boys in their village, because I guess they're kind of taking the true story of St Nicholas and putting it into this film. So they go out in the snow. It's like crazy snow, it's like a blizzard. So I would think, hey, I probably shouldn't be doing this, but they're really determined to get those toys out. So they go out and from what I interpreted as happening in this movie is that they basically die out in the cold. And so the rest of the movie is like what could have happened if they didn't die, because that's what it felt like. It felt like they died and then they were taken to the North Pole and that's where the journey of him being Santa Claus begins. The acting was OK, but it was again. It was very cheesy, it was very 80s feel.
Speaker 2:He befriends this homeless kid out of nowhere. Like the transition between scenes was kind of wonky too, like they would go to the North pole for a really long time and then they would cut to the real world where you meet this homeless kid and he's in love with, or he likes he's a kid, so he likes this girl that I guess likes him because she's literally standing at her window stalking him, just looking at him. So that was kind of weird, kind of random. And yeah, he befriends these two kids and by the end of the movie spoiler the kids decide to stay with him for a year without Like. I guess the homeless kid doesn't have parents I hate to assume that, but I'm assuming that about him. But you know that this girl has relatives. You find out, actually, that her uncle is John Lithgow's character, but other than that, yeah, she decides to stay with Santa Claus and the whole joke is that one of the elves is the one that's going to teach them. Like, oh, we still got to go to school.
Speaker 2:But I'm thinking this this is the weirdest way to end this movie is that Santa Claus basically kidnaps these kids because they can't consent, because they're kids, they can't consent to staying with him. There's no adoption papers, there's no like, there's no legal court battle saying that santa claus now has custody of these kids. It's a really weird way to end this movie. But, that being said, the whole movie is weird anyway. Like everything is just weird and random.
Speaker 2:The only part that was kind of entertaining is when dudley moore's character, who's an elf, he leaves the north pole because he got fired because he made a mistake, and santa claus fires him like one strike and you're out. So he leaves thinking he has to prove himself to santa, and so he goes. And he has to prove himself to Santa, and so he goes and he teams up with this toy maker who he thinks is a toy maker because he sells toys and he thinks he's doing something good. But this guy is actually trying to use him. And then somehow he makes candy canes that make people fly, and then they add even more of the elf powder to it, which makes them explode, and John Lithgow's characters doesn't care that he could literally kill children. Hmm, yeah, definitely, definitely, definitely an eighties movie. Yeah, definitely, definitely an eighties movie.
Speaker 2:So this movie fell flat to me. It was not what I was expecting. I was expecting like a magical, whimsical movie about Santa Claus, and that's not what I got. So this is a short but sweet episode sorry of my review of Santa Claus the movie, the most Christmas movie out of probably every single Christmas movie I'm going to be talking about, and I'm giving it for a Christmas movie. I'm giving it a solid four Because it is a Christmas movie, but, again, I could go a Christmas without watching this and I'd be okay. As a general, I'm giving it a whopping two out of five. The two is nice because I'm giving it for John Lithgow and the Dudley Moore interactions. I thought that was a fun part. I wish there was more of that in the movie. They just spent a really long time explaining how Nicholas becomes Santa Claus, which makes sense because the movie is about Santa Claus. It's not about Dudley Moore and John Lithgow. I wish it was, though. I wish it was because they were interesting. So that is my review of Santa Claus the movie. You're welcome, katie, you didn't have to watch it.
Speaker 2:And next tuesday katie and I are taking on the albert finney version of ebenezer scrooge. In our review of scrooge some say this is the best adaptation of a christmas carol, and I don't think I've ever seen it. I've seen lots of Christmas Carol versions. I don't think I've ever seen this, so I'm excited to watch that with Daddy Warbucks in it. And then this Cinema Saturday I'm taking on Final Destination Bloodlines. If you listened to last Saturday's episode, you heard my ranking of the Final Destination movies, one through five. Now I'm taking on number six this Saturday on the Couch Critic, where every movie gets its close-up.
Speaker 1:It's not just a movie, it's a way of life. We'll watch it together, day or night, so settle in close and don't miss a flick. This is the moment for the couch critic.
